Saturday, September 15, 2007

A Spiderous Tale

My spider

I awoke to my wife's (3am) screams of alarm. "Ahhhhhhh!"
"What is it?" I said startled, half awake and expecting the worst.
"There!" She pointed directly to the low, white ceiling above the bed. "SPIDER"
Sure enough,there above our bed, motionless was a very menacing spider that did not posses the charm or dancing abilities of a "Daddy Long Legs". It had a stretched out circumference of just less than a penny (estimates may vary).
My wife exited the room, with our 2 dogs, and slammed the door.
This is my lot in life as a husband/domestic defender. Removing insects, and disposing of dead mice.
I grabbed a Kleenex, and posed for the capture. This is where I went wrong. It is better to risk bad Karma with a killing blow than to attempt the live catch and release. I made my cat-like attempt, only to see the black arachnid spin wildly through the TV lit night air and vanish above our bed.
What to do?
I waited....and searched for 30seconds, not enough to arouse supicion of my wife. I decided to take the risk. I loudly declared victory and ran downstairs with an empty Kleenex to throw out the back door.
We went back to sleep uninterrupted. My Karma was simultaneously saved and blemished in the order of the universe.


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