Friday, December 01, 2006

Bad movie reviews.-Minnetonkascenes Mojo

In order to reinforce the mainstream media contention that The Blogosphere is irresponsible and unreliable, I will review some holiday movie fare without ever having seen it ... because the movies are so rote that one does not need to see them - really! These are my presumed plots:

1. Rocky IntraVenus - Sylvester Stalone plays a washed up world boxing champion who must fight an apparently invincible "alien child” whose father was born near Area 51, New Mexico in 1947. Balboa is the only man on earth who can withstand the giant's kryptonite laced blows (the Rock's head is lined with lead). Rocky finds he cannot knock out the alien hybrid, but eventually a sunami of sweat splashing from Rocky’s face have a deadly impact on the “green giant”. The World Heavyweight Championship of Boxing is returned to earth!
Rocky uses the Medicaid Program to pay for his recovery. 5 out of 5 stars.

2. Casino Royale Pain- the 6th James Bond (Daniel Craig) has lost all bond to his original 007 identity (even worse than Bewitched’s bland Darin II) Bitter, he doesn’t care if his Martinis come shaken or stirred, just as long as they keep coming. Massive explosions, expensive cars and a cool British accent carry this film. 4 out of 5 stars.

3 Deja Vu- You! An old Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young, Taylor and Reives song sets the musical tone for a film in which the treadworn “been there, done that” phenomena is fully explored. Denzel Washington plays a government agent caught up (in a role) and a mystery that seems strangely familiar. Surpize cameo from The 5th Dimension! 4 out of 5 stars. - Some time travel,and mild profanity.


Blogger Meg Nakagawa said...

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to laugh or rush to the video store.

9:18 PM  
Blogger Minnetonkafelix said...

Meg, this is my version of humor. Every so often I venture there in my cartoons or writing. Mixed results.

3:41 AM  

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